Yield to the elderly

As I was traveling around a rotary near my house, I saw a car approach from the right and start to enter the rotary.  As I’m sure everyone knows, people in the rotary in Massachusetts have the right of way over people entering.  But this car was not going to stop. 

I remembered something my father told me many years ago… “The right of way is not something you have, it is something you yield”. Well, this guy wasn’t going to yield, so I slowed down and let him in. 

As he passed, I saw that he was an elderly gentleman.  I thought “Wouldn’t it be nice if I knew how old he was as he approached. That way, I would have known that there was no way in hell he was going to yield .”  So I got to thinking…  what if cars had a display that showed the age of the driver to other drivers?  You could have the car connect to your cell phone via bluetooth and extract this info and display it near your license plate, front and rear.  

Think about how that would help.  See someone who is 18…  give them a lot of room, as they have no experience and are probably not paying attention.  See someone over 80…  they are not yielding to anyone.  

Good idea, right?  Write your congressperson.

Learn the “food rating” game

A few months ago, we had our friends over to dinner, and MJ made cioppino, a seafood stew made with fresh shellfish, in a tomato broth.  Everyone agreed that it was delicious. Then one of our friends asked “What would you give it?”, meaning, rate it on a scale of 1-10.  I answered “7.5”.  I took some flack for that rating, and she asked “What should she have done to earn a higher rating?”.  That got me thinking…

There are two methods of judging a photo contest…. “Relative” and “Absolute”.  The Relative method asks the judge to compare the photo under consideration to the other photos in the competition.  The Absolute method asks the judge to compare the photo to every other photo he or she has ever seen.

I think the “Absolute” method is the only fair method for food judging.  Let me explain…

Over the past 43 years, MJ has provided me with many great meals.  With the exception of a few (I’m talking 3-4), each one was excellent, and could not be improved.  On the “Relative” scale, I would give her a “10” for all of them, including that dinner.  There is nothing she could have done to improve it.  My breakfast each morning is a “10”.  My lunch today was a “10”.  They could not be improved.  So, on the “relative” scale, most dishes I have had in my life couldn’t be improved, and therefore warrant a “10”.  So, clearly, this is not a useful exercise.

However, on the Absolute scale, I gave it a 7.5.  To me, this means that no matter what she could have done, it would never be as good as Zuppardi’s Special Pizza.  In other words, if I were given a choice, or were asked to select a “last meal”, the pizza would get the nod.  Same goes for Mike’s White Broccoli Rabe pizza.  Cioppino, no matter who made it, will never be as good as Zuppardi’s pizza.

So, in my view, the “relative” scale is meaningless when it comes to rating food.

I have been asked to come up with a rating scale we could use for food.  Here is my suggestion:

5 – I love it and I could eat it every day

4 – I really like it, and could eat it every week

3 – It was good, but once a month is sufficient.

2 – Once a year is plenty

1 – It was OK, but if you never make it again, I’m OK with that.

0 – Terrible.  You can serve it at my funeral lunch.

Be a “satisficer”

Over the course of my career, a good portion of it was spent trying to help the decision-maker see that our software was the solution to his/her problem.  Often, I ran into people that could not make a decision between our solution and those offered by our competitors.  You could see it coming.  The decision-maker was paralyzed by the prospect of making a decision.  Although they often had very detailed requirements, they couldn’t decide among the systems that met the requirements.  They had to search for something that was better.

I have since learned that here are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.

Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card or the software that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied that it is the right decision. 

Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, to make the best possible choice. 

Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. 

So… my advice.  Spend time understanding the requirements, and then go with the first product that meets those requirements.  And don’t second-guess your decision. 

Recognize Genius

Have you ever given any thought to what would make the perfect product?  I thought about this today.  

First, the product should appeal to your sense of fear. This is one of our strongest motivators.  If the product appealed to, say, our needs or our wants, there would always be the process of “justification” before you bought it.  If, for example, it were a car, or new clothes, you might think “Do I really need this?”  Not so with fear.  Once fear sets in, you buy the product. 

The next requirement might be cost.  You want the cost to be high, but not so high that it becomes a deterrent to purchase.  If the cost of the product pales by comparison to the cost of having your fear realized, it is a no-brainer.  

Next, the product should be consumed quickly and not just sit on a shelf.  You want it to be used quickly and you want the consumer to come back for more.  

And finally, it would be great if there were no way at all to tell if the product was working.  That way, you won’t question having to re-stock when it is all gone. 

I have found the perfect product.  Our neighbors just spent a lot of money on repairs to their septic system, and another neighbor advised us to use Rid-X on a regular basis. This stuff costs almost $25 for 48 OZ, and the great thing about the product is that as soon as you get it home, you pour it down the toilet.  Pure genius!  

Warm your plate

One of the real joys of being retired is the ability to have a leisurely breakfast while watching the morning news.  My breakfast usually is built around an omelette or scrambled eggs. I am really not a fan of cold eggs, so the last thing I want to do is to put those eggs on a cold plate. Within seconds, a cold plate will suck the heat right out of those eggs.  So, as part of the process, I warm the plate in the microwave for 15-20 seconds.  Of course, this applies to any hot food.  Do yourself a favor and warm that plate before you put any hot food on it.

I’m Back!

Several years ago, I started writing down some of the rules I’ve learned over the course of my life. I published 50, and collected them into a paperback book. I haven’t written any more rules for a few years, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been any new ones. I’m ready to publish a few more in the upcoming weeks.

If you have been following me for some time, you should get email notification of new posts. For any new folks, if you would like to be notified of new posts, subscribe by clicking in the area on the right at the bottom of the column.

Stay tuned!

LifeRules now in paperback!

I’m happy to announce that my blog, LifeRules, is now available as a paperback book! This book contains the first 50 LifeRules, as published in my blog. If you would like to own a copy, for yourself or as a gift for someone, you can purchase one on Amazon.

Spend more time playing

Your time awake can be divided into one of two categories… work and play. Simply, if you are happy doing something, you are spending your time in play. If, on the other hand, you would rather be doing something else, you are working. Work is any activity that one would rather not be engaged in at that particular moment.

“But what is work and what is not work?  Is it work to dig, to carpenter, to plant trees, to fell trees, to ride, to fish, to hunt, to feed chickens, to play the piano, to take photographs, to build a house, to cook, to sew, to trim hats, to mend motor bicycles?  All of these things are work to somebody, and all of them are play to somebody.  There are in fact very few activities which cannot be classed either as work or play according as you choose to regard them.”
- George Orwell

So, the difference between work and play is not where you are, what you are doing, or if you are getting paid. It is a matter of attitude.

The switch from play to work happens instantly. Say you are out fishing (presumably a pleasurable activity) and your phone rings. Assuming that you would rather be fishing than talking on the phone, you have just started working.

Or say you are at a party. Those around you are apparently having a good time. And by your own demeanor, you are as well. But if you would rather be home on the couch watching Homeland, you are working.

Given this definition, you should strive to devote as much of your time to play as possible. You will have an easier time of it when you retire. You have much more control over your activities than when you are younger and burdened with responsibilities. And you are more able to be honest with yourself regarding what you really enjoy. In the meantime, approach work with the right attitude, and you might be able to count the time as play.

Learn the art of small-talk

I am always amazed by people who can go to a party and strike up a conversation with anyone in the room.  They can always find something to talk about with strangers and friends alike.  I am not one of these people.  I often wonder where this skill was taught, and what I was doing instead of learning it.

Perhaps it was taught in the Armed Forces, which I missed.  Maybe on youth sport teams, like Babe Ruth baseball, or at basketball practice.  I never played on any sports team, so if that is where it was taught, I missed out.  Maybe it was taught hanging out in bars in college.  I didn’t do much of that.  I always thought that engaging in conversation was a way to exchange information, or to solve a problem.  It never occurred to me that you could have a conversation about nothing.

I mention this because it remains a problem for me to this day.  I am not into sports, so before I go to the barber shop (yes, I know about the bald thing, but I still have to go every now and then), I have to study the sports page.  I need to be ready to respond to my barber when he says “How about those Red Sox!”  It helps to know that we are talking baseball here.

I have learned that many people are not that interested in my views on politics, voting rights, abortion, universal health care, etc.  Venturing into these subjects is a recipe for disaster.  Better to talk about the weather, or fishing, which at the moment seems like a safe topic (unless the conversation heads to discuss those Piping Plovers).

So, the advice I can offer now is to learn the art of small-talk.  I can’t tell you where to learn it, or how.  Just that it is important.

Buy a big snowblower

More snow!  When we moved to the Cape, I thought that we wouldn’t see much snow down here.  It used to be the place where golfers could play all year.  No longer.  This is the second storm this week, and I have used my snowblower 5-6 times already this year.

 When it comes to snow removal, there are two types of people: snowblower people and plow people.  While I am a snowblower type, I do understand the convenience of having someone plow your driveway for you.  Who wouldn’t like sitting inside with a cup of coffee and watching someone take care of the snow removal for you?

 I’ve tried it, and it was a sense of frustration for me.  When was he coming?  We only had 2 inches of snow, why is he here?  Why is he putting the snow right in front of the gate?  Why is he plowing my lawn? And when he was done, I still had to go outside and do the walk, the cars, and the clean-up.

 So years ago, in 1988, I got my snowblower.  Yes, it is still running and working quite well.  I take good care of my stuff, but that is the topic of another blog.

 While others may consider using a snowblower a chore, I kind of like it.  It gives me control over when to remove the snow.  If we are expecting lots of snow, I may do it mid-storm.  But most of all, it lets me stick to the driveway and other areas that I choose, without tearing up the lawn or planting areas.

 If you are thinking of buying a snowblower, I suggest you get a big one.  I have a a Toro 624 (6HP) two-stage. It is not huge, but big enough to tackle a 12-14-inch snowfall.  There are small, one-stage units out there, but I don’t see the point.  You need help when you are faced with lots of snow, not when you can easily push it around with a shovel. 

 Two more suggestions. I would recommend one with electric start.  I don’t have that, and pulling on the starter cord is getting harder.  And second, buy a brand from a local dealer that can service your unit.